


Your Fault

by DiasySnaps



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Egg Laying, Kids, M/M, Spiders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9658007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiasySnaps/pseuds/DiasySnaps
Summary: Who knows what I've done. A weird fic of spider eggs leading to cute family time - hopefully.A weird way to jump in the deep end.





	1. Chapter 1

He’d laid eggs. At least, he was pretty sure they were eggs. They were a muddy blue, firm but tacky and about the size of a golf ball. There were five of them. They were lying in the web-nest he’d decided to make for some reason – actually, if he thought about it, the nest was probably the eggs’ (yep, they’re still there) fault.

This had been one hell of a weird night. A weird week. A weird few months. And, now he knew it was all because he’s laid eggs. Or maybe caused him to lay eggs. Peter wasn’t entirely sure where to lay the blame yet – not that he was doing anymore laying anytime soon!

This could all still be a dream, Peter thought fervently. Just one long dream and the extended, weird, bloaty gas had been just that. Peter continued to stare at the eggs. His eggs. He gently reached out and stroked the closest to him. What was he going to do? What if they weren’t even eggs? What if they kidney stones or something?

Peter took a deep breath and tried to get himself under control, or at least as under control as anyone could expect him to be. He’d laughed off some pretty strange shit during his years as Spider-man. He’d joked through whatever else New York had thrown at him with its stew of mutants, aliens, superheroes, newspapers and who knows what.

Oh god they were so small! How were they so small? They had felt monstrous over the course of the last few hours. And so uncomfortable, distending his stomach occasionally these past few weeks. 

Peter gently tugged and moulded the webs below him to better hold th- his eggs. He didn’t know what to do now. How was he going to take care of them? They had a tacky gel covering, did that mean the need water or was he supposed to just keep them safe in the nest?

Did he even _want_ to keep them?

Yes. He knew he had to keep them. There was something deep within Peter that knew he had to take care of his eggs. The same place that had told him to build the nest. This same thing in him that had told him not to question these new shapes with in him these past few weeks and had lead him to ease up on his work as Spider-man these past few months.

It wasn’t his eggs’ fault they were here. No, Peter was pretty sure this was all Wade’s fault. Through a series of missions and downtimes Peter and Wade had grown close these past few years, and had begun sleeping together these last six months. Peter wasn’t entirely sure what to call what they had between them. They hung out and slept together but then there was a week of no contact here and there when Wade went off to do whatever it is when he goes off as Deadpool. Wade had currently been gone two weeks and counting. The longest time they’d actually been apart since, whatever it was they had, started. What they had started had ended up with five eggs. Five small, breakable, squishable eggs.

Deadpool was the father to his eggs. Peter was the mother of Wade’s eggs. These were thoughts Peter never expected to think. And he was never saying that second one out loud. With the world they lived in and the aliens that lived in it, someone in their community was bound to lay an egg sometime. Peter still wasn’t sure why that person had to be him.

Peter was going to kill Wade for making him go through this alone. Seriously maim him at least. Suddenly all of the anger drained out of Peter when he looked at his eggs again, they just made him feel all mushy inside. Stupid moth- fathering instincts.

Peter slowly stood up and tip-toed his way out of his nest. He crouched down and sealed his nest back up together behind him. He still didn’t know what to do with them. Logically, he should probably treat them like spiders’ eggs which meant… He wasn’t sure what that meant. Which meant one thing – he had research to do. And may be a shower.

 


	2. What is even happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next part of Peter's weird new parenting life.

Peter wasn’t entirely sure what the fuck was going on anymore, and to be honest, it was scaring the shit out of him. It really shouldn’t be, he’d reached his ‘tipping point’ several tipping points ago, and doesn’t that just say something about his life. But, his children had spun themselves up into cocoons, like a week ago, and nothing was happening. Peter felt pretty justified in himself, that any other competent mother would, also, be losing their shit right now. Any other parent, would also be pacing up and down their room, ready to pull their hair out.

This was not something Peter had come across during his read up of, parenting 101, and, so you’re thinking of buying a pet tarantula! These were his babies, he had a right to know what these little idiots thought they were doing, scaring him like this! So, alright they weren’t exactly little anymore. His little Ben, was almost the size of spaniel, growing constantly these past few months since they’d hatched, a few months after that day that Peter had dubbed, that day Peter didn’t lay golf ball eggs. But they were still the itty-bitty babies of his heart, god-damn it!

Peter had been tending his children/cocoons obsessively this past week. Making sure they dry, keeping track of any change, searching for the slightest crack, the smallest twitch. Making sure none of them decided to up and disappear!

At least they’d all decided to do, whatever it was they were doing, all together, in the bedroom, so he could keep an eye on them all at once. Maeve, had even attached her cocoon to the side of their dollhouse. Peter crouched, giving Maeve’s cocoon a look over for what had to be at least the third time that day. He couldn’t believe just how small the dollhouse looked now next to Maeve’s cocoon. To think it used to be the kids’ bedrooms. They’d grown so much, their little, Ben, Maeve, Kaine, Felicity and Joe-Wade. Peter couldn’t believe just how much they had changed in six months, but he guessed that was probably a feeling even normal parents had.

Peter fidgeted with some of their little pieces of furniture, all of the web, that usually cluttered at least some part of the dollhouse, had already disintegrated days ago. He couldn’t bring himself to tidy the toys away though, the kids loved to play with them, and it was meant to be their jobs to clean up after themselves. They were such a part of his life now, it was unnerving without them. Unnerving with the quiet, there was always sound it the apartment; the kids playing on the ceiling, the kids playing with the dollhouse. Oh, Wade had bought them this before they had even hatched, before he and Peter even truly knew what they were going to be. It was beautiful, and had been the perfect place for the kids to live, when they had hatched from their eggs, unfolding their legs to be fist sized tarantulas.

And didn’t Wade just dote on all of them. Peter hadn’t quite believed, how readily Wade believed, that Peter had laid eggs, that to Wade it had seem perfectly reasonable that that was something that Peter would do. Then, when the kids had hatched and Peter had Wade had settled into their own version of domestic bliss, Wade had gone out of his way to make every day the next best day in the kids’ lives, with a new day of fun and the next most exotic and exciting insect to eat.

There was just so much for Peter to reminisce about. Oh and then there was the day that Wade… Wade. Wade!

Oh, it’s just a short mission honey-buns! I’ll be back in only a couple of days Petey-Pie! I’m not even leaving country, MY ASS! Peter screamed internally. Just where did Wade get off thinking he could just up and disappear? That was all fine and dandy, back when they were almost dating, but they were parents now.

Ok, admittedly, they were parents to five, sentient, cat-sized tarantula, but every family was different. And, ok, so Peter had agreed that he could handle the kids by himself for the long weekend, and yes it had been a long time since he’d let Wade go on an extended Deadpool mission, but this weekend had stretched on into the week! And now the whole cocoon debacle was going on, and Peter just couldn’t bring himself to leave his babies alone and undefended.  Their whole lives, they had always had one of them with them (Parenting!) and Peter had always known they’d be able to run and hide if anything truly went wrong but…

Oh god, their whole lives! They’re only six months old, they’re so little, but Peter was sure something was going to make him leave the flat at some point. He’d been working on a casual basis since he’d had the kids but he’d already reached the point where he’d needed to inform work that he wouldn’t be coming in. Peter just needed Wade. Wade had had his back for so long now, that Peter wasn’t sure he could do this without him anymore. Just having someone who could be panicking with him, instead of Peter panicking alone. Wade would probably have come up with some seemingly improbable theory that would even be true, or at least be so crazy that Peter would feel better in that, at least it wasn’t that.

Peter didn’t know how to broach asking for help with this, from any of the other heroes they knew. Apparently, everyone thought they had been dating longer than they had, but they had decided not to tell anyone about their spider-babies. Defiantly not because they were ashamed of their babies and not because they didn’t trust their friends and acquaintances. But… things happen. Things happen. And, stupid things happen all the time in the superhero world, and someone out there would here that Spider-man and Deadpool had children out there and some mad-man would try and hunt them down and… Oh god, what if that was what happened!? What if Wade hadn’t just gotten distracted on his first time out of New York in months? Usually if something went wrong and Wade got too hurt or even died he would make his way back to Peter’s arms, but it had been too long. Too long without even a phone call, sure this is what it used to be like, but it was meant to be different now with the kids. May be it wasn’t. May be this was something they were meant to have talked about.

Peter sighed. He needed to calm himself down. He would give Wade two more days to turn up, then he was going to have to reach out to other capes and just say Wade was missing, but then someone would need to watch his cocoons while he did that. Urgh, this was frustrating. Ok, calming. Calm, and wait two more days. And, just hope that his cocoons and his Wade sorted themselves out and let Peter stop worrying.


End file.
